Qingming

Today, April 5, is Qingming, or Tomb-Sweeping Day. This Buddhist based holiday, also known as ‘Clear-Brightness’ day, originally marked the arrival of spring. It’s the time of year when people get outdoors, fly kites and enjoy the spring flowers. Over the centuries, it’s also come to mark a specific time of year when Chinese people visit family cemeteries and pay respect to their ancestors.

I felt honored when Jiang Qin, Julia, asked me if I wanted to travel to Jiangyin with her family to see how this occasion is traditionally celebrated. I’ll admit I was a little uncertain about spending the day with extended family on a solemn occasion, but I was also eager to experience such a unique part of Chinese culture. So last Saturday at 7:30 in the morning Julia, her husband, and Yi-Yi, their ten year-old daughter, picked me up and we headed off. We took the expressway out of Suzhou about an hour northwest to Jiangyin. Along the way we stopped and met up with Julia’s parents, sister, and brother in-law who were driving there in their own car. The horrible rainy and cold weather seemed to fit the occasion perfectly.

When we got to Jiangyin, our first stop was at Julia’s aunt’s house where much of the local family had gathered. We waited there shortly for more family to arrive from Shanghai. Soon there were over thirty of us, and then as many of us as possible piled onto a bus one of the women had procured from her work place. The rest of the family tail-gated and we made our way to the first cemetery. While the occasion of the day was mournful, everyone’s spirits appeared festive and happy. This is the one time in the year when extended family all get together to celebrate one another and honor relatives no longer with us. At the cemetery, I followed everyone off the bus and out of their cars through a maze of short pine trees and headstones to the sites of Julia’s grandparents. On each headstone beautiful flowers were put down, along with bananas, oranges and some traditional green sticky-rice food. A small fire for each of them was then created burning bags of fake paper money for their spirits to spend in the after-life. Each family took turns bowing and paying their respects and then we all ran out of the rain back into the vehicles. Soaking wet and cold we made our way to a great new restaurant in town where a banquet lunch was served and the day’s celebration continued. After a couple hours of eating and drinking, we traveled to a second cemetery where Julia’s two uncles rest. This time the cemetery was further into the countryside at the base of a small mountain. It’s typical for people living in Shanghai, or along the East Coast, to be cremated and buried in cities further inland, like Jiangyin. The same ritual was performed at the headstone of her two uncles. Leaving the headstones everyone was given a stick of sugarcane to eat – a sweet treat to cheer you up after doing something sad.

Next we went to her 82 year-old aunt’s home and picked her up for the afternoon walk around the park and evening meal. The day turned into an interesting and memorable adventure and by the end of it, though I obviously didn’t belong, I felt I had become a part of this great big family. Four kids under the age of sixteen spent a lot of the day keeping me posted on what was going on, and Julia hardly left my side taking great care of me. While it would’ve been really wonderful to carry on a conversation with more of the family, everyone’s smile and welcoming attitude made me feel at home.

It’s April already, and I’m still finding new and interesting things everyday living in China. The way of life here is certainly different from what I know in the States. Almost daily, I’m fascinated by novel kinds of experiences. Observing the Buddhist traditions of Qingming, as well as little things like having a pineapple shaved and peeled on the curb of the street just before I take it home and eat it are unique parts of my life in China. I find now in the spring, the mangos, strawberries, and bananas are all so fresh I can almost live off the fruit sold just outside my door. For sure, it’s not all flowers and sunshine, but living here is definitely different, interesting, and the trip of a lifetime.